So for most part of the day, things got really bad. Until 6 PM in the evening, nothing really felt in my control. And the main reason for this is the victimized thoughts I was thinking prior to falling asleep yesterday. I just let the fact that I didn't go to bed on time affect me yesterday as well. I shouldn't have. I was so depressed.
And when I woke up in the morning today at 7:30, it was a constant reaction state. I was reacting to the environment. I got ready by 10:15 (25 minutes went by trying to check tickets for my dad who's travelling to chennai to attend the last rites of his grandmother).
I decided to go to my office but that's when I heard news that my mom's another sister was scheduled to come in an hour or so. The house was a mess - servant maid hadn't come in 2 days and my mom wasnt able to handle my sick grandmother and everything.
So I decided to stay back and go to my office in the noon and helped with some cleaning and purchasing of groceries. I decided to work in 2 sessions between 1 to 4 and 5 - 8 Pm. Neither would happen thanks to lunch being prepared only at 1:15 and me having to drop my dad at the station at around 3 'o clock in the noon.
I came home at about 4 PM and decided to take a nap. I didn't have the discipline to wake up 20 minutes into the nap and only woke up at 5:20 Pm. I was a mess and I actually hit myself in anger. It was nuts - I just don't want to talk about it.
I got up, took a shower and decided to get some control over my life in every manner possible. I meditated for about 20 - 25 minutes focussing on my breath and chanting OM. By about 19:15 (scheduled to start at 19:00 but got delayed by my grandmother's requests), I began on my work. Did about 1 hr 25 minutes of work until 20:50 (1 hr 30 by 20:45 was my initial goal).
After that I had my dinner and have kept my focus since. I commit myself to be in bed by no later than 22:15 hrs. Not hope or wish or want or intend to. But am committed.
If I can do this, all of the past ghosts that I have (of my failures and stuff) will naturally destroy and I will be a NEW Man with a new life.
Thank you God for your blessings.
And when I woke up in the morning today at 7:30, it was a constant reaction state. I was reacting to the environment. I got ready by 10:15 (25 minutes went by trying to check tickets for my dad who's travelling to chennai to attend the last rites of his grandmother).
I decided to go to my office but that's when I heard news that my mom's another sister was scheduled to come in an hour or so. The house was a mess - servant maid hadn't come in 2 days and my mom wasnt able to handle my sick grandmother and everything.
So I decided to stay back and go to my office in the noon and helped with some cleaning and purchasing of groceries. I decided to work in 2 sessions between 1 to 4 and 5 - 8 Pm. Neither would happen thanks to lunch being prepared only at 1:15 and me having to drop my dad at the station at around 3 'o clock in the noon.
I came home at about 4 PM and decided to take a nap. I didn't have the discipline to wake up 20 minutes into the nap and only woke up at 5:20 Pm. I was a mess and I actually hit myself in anger. It was nuts - I just don't want to talk about it.
I got up, took a shower and decided to get some control over my life in every manner possible. I meditated for about 20 - 25 minutes focussing on my breath and chanting OM. By about 19:15 (scheduled to start at 19:00 but got delayed by my grandmother's requests), I began on my work. Did about 1 hr 25 minutes of work until 20:50 (1 hr 30 by 20:45 was my initial goal).
After that I had my dinner and have kept my focus since. I commit myself to be in bed by no later than 22:15 hrs. Not hope or wish or want or intend to. But am committed.
If I can do this, all of the past ghosts that I have (of my failures and stuff) will naturally destroy and I will be a NEW Man with a new life.
Thank you God for your blessings.
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